Trader Vic’s: a review

May 23, 2011 § Leave a comment

A few weeks ago we went to Trader Vic’s in Emeryville, with the singular goal of getting a piña colada:

(Perfect hair optional.)

Unbelievably, piña coladas are not featured on the cocktail menu (!). This is a crime against classic rock right up there with Phil Collins being played on a dedicated station. I appropriately drowned my disappointment in something called a Suffering Bastard. Suffering tastes like cucumbers — who knew?

We happened to go on Mother’s Day, and we seriously underestimated the draw of a tiki bar as a preferred dinner venue for said holiday. The place was packed with moms and  their college-age children in varying levels of intoxication. We were fortunate enough to sit next to a family of four who were on at least their second round of cocktails. Their entrees and a fresh round of drinks arrived a few minutes after we sat down. About 30 seconds after that, Mom tossed her cookies all over her pretty pantsuit and stumbled across the dining room to the bathroom. Her daughter (who hugged a full beer just before Mom had her moment) followed her to help, and her husband & son dug into their meals like nothing had happened at all. I would love to see how this family celebrates St. Pat’s.

We made it through our meals with no further insanity inside the restaurant, though we were joined by a long-haired wild man who prowled the 8″ walkway around the exterior of the building. The server brought me a bouquet of Mother’s Day flowers with the check; I was willing to overlook the occasion & just enjoy the flowers until he said he was giving them to all the women who came in that night. Way to make a girl feel special…

Overall scores:

  • Food – We had some. I think it was good.
  • Drink – Don’t have what she had.
  • Ambience – Off the hook.

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