Good help is hard to find.

April 3, 2007 § Leave a comment

We have been seeking another semi-permanent administrative assistant since October. The search is not going very well, seeing as how it is now April and we are still new-administrative-assistant-less. There are a lot of interesting folks out there looking for jobs.

Candidate #1 didn’t really understand the finer points of applying for a job. She thought that in order to appear interested in the position you need to call literally every 5 minutes asking to speak to the person you last spoke to, threaten current employees if you aren’t immediately connected and accuse everyone you come in contact with from the company of trying to avoid you (well, okay, that last one was valid).

Candidate #2 was fantastic. She signed her offer letter, asked for two weeks to give her employer notice and then called us five days before she was scheduled to start work to quit because she had found “the job of her dreams.”

Candidate #3 wore snake earrings to the interview but when I inquired about them she shuddered and told me she is really frightened of snakes. Hm.

Candidate #4 called in. We could hear a wailing baby in the background and when we asked asked her what she was looking for in a job she merely said “I need a full-time job.”

Candidate #5’s cover letter is mostly devoted to his love of waffles. Worried that you may “wonder about [his] sanity,” “question [his] vocabulary and syntax” and “try to decide if this is for real” as you read it, he assures us that he is sincere by addressing a statement to his mother, who apparently did not have much faith in him during his kindergarten tenure. His one requirement? That we have either a microwave that will cook waffles or a cafeteria that serves them.

Candidates #6-9 have been no-shows.

What gives?

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